Confessions of a Spanglish-Speaking Linguist
Hablando Spanglish ha sido parte de mi vida for all of my life. But I haven't always embraced it. Here are three quotes that helped me embrace mi lengua.
Please check the footnotes for an English version of the introduction.1
Growing up with my grandparents, they’d speak to me in Spanish, and I’d reply a veces en español, a veces en inglés, pero más que todo en una mezcla of the two.
Creo que mi familia thought that I just didn’t want to speak Spanish—and that’s partly true. Or that I didn’t know how to express my feelings fully in Spanish—and that’s partly true, too. Pero también es cierto that I was producing language; I was expressing myself in a way that’s quite común for bilingües, and that really isn’t so different from the ways monolinguals language. Y hoy les voy a enseñar that perspective: the perspective that Spanglish is no different from other languages. But more importantly, I want to take you on my Spanglish-embracing journey by showing you three quotes that changed my perspective.
But first…you can test your Spanglish knowledge with these poll questions…
“Every language was once Spanglish.”
Three years ago, I thought that bilingualism was a more-or-less recent phenomenon, which was a result of our evermore globalized world. I thought bilinguals were the minority. And I thought Spanglish was a super new language.
I was completely wrong.
There have always been far more bilinguals in the world than monolinguals. As for Spanglish…it’s 150 years old! I’m going to go into the details in next week’s newsletter, but this reel covers the basics.
The reason why the quote “every language was once Spanglish” changed the way I viewed my language was that it validated that Spanglish has a history like any other language. And with knowing that history, I knew that there was a reason why it was spoken in the past and why it continues to be spoken today. It’s as if the quote placed me—and my language—on a continuum of people with a somewhat similar linguistic past; it placed me in a community that spanned hundreds of years and hundreds of miles.
This community is no different from the community of English speakers, which has spanned centuries and which has been bilingual from the beginning. Just like Spanglish, English was born from language contact between Germanic tribes and the Celtic language. And from there it has become a language with more than 80% borrowed vocabulary due to language contact, or rather, bilingualism.
Bilingualism has always existed. It has always been the norm. And all languages are—to a certain extent—a mix.
“The term languaging is needed to refer to the simultaneous process of continuous becoming of ourselves and of our language practices, as we interact and make meaning in the world.”
I like that quote so much I named this newsletter after it.
And I love this quote because it shows that all languagers—monolingual and bilingual alike—do similar things. For example, we all vary the language that comes out of our mouths depending on who we’re talking to. A monolingual is going to sound different when they speak to their cat versus when they’re speaking to their manager. They’ll likely also change the way they language when they write or when they send texts. What’s coming out of their mouth, though, is coming out in one language. So, we usually don’t notice it.
But a bilingual is doing the same thing. A bilingual is slightly changing the way they’re speaking when they’re speaking to their mom versus their principal. The only difference is that a bilingual is making those changes across languages, so we notice it more. We especially notice it when they mix languages. But just as a monolingual acquires a monolingual version of a language, bilingual babies acquire a mixed language, like Spanglish, by being surrounded by it.
“So, if you want to really hurt me, talk badly about my language. Ethnic identity is twin skin to linguistic identity--I am my language. Until I can take pride in my language, I cannot take pride in myself.”
I’m not saying it’s like this for all Spanglish speakers, but for me, hating my Spanglish was a form of self-hatred. I truly felt less intelligent every time I sprinkled my Spanish with English. Those feelings and sentiments came from me, but they also came from others: my family, my teachers, random strangers (many of whom are Spanglish speakers themselves).
And as a result, today, I don’t speak Spanglish with just anyone. I need to gauge whether or not the person is going to judge me for it. Those mental calculations I’ve never had to do when I’m speaking in a monolingual way.
Part of me feels lucky that I have the chance to speak and write in a way that doesn’t raise eyebrows. I can just change and hide that whole part of myself. In most settings, I don’t look like Spanglish. But part of me hates that I have to contain that part of myself for 90% of my life.
Conclusion: Why I continue speaking Spanglish
I asked on Instagram whether anyone had questions about Spanglish and I received this reply:
To this I would ask, why do you speak any language? You speak it to communicate your thoughts, your feelings, your love, your hate. Those are the same reasons why I speak Spanglish. It’s what comes out of my mouth when I call my cousin. It’s how I react to memes my friends send. It’s how I journal in the morning.
I think what this question is missing is the fact that Spanglish is not intentional; it’s just what comes out for some people. For me, speaking only in Spanish feels forced. Speaking only in English feels forced, too. I can do either one—and most of the time, I go around the world acting like a monolingual. But when I get to speak Spanglish con mi gente, it doesn’t feel forced. There’s no internal chatter of speaking in English, having the thought come first in Spanish, taking a second to retrieve it in English, then saying it completely in English. There’s no blocking thoughts at all. It just flows out.
Growing up with my grandparents, they’d speak to me in Spanish, and I’d reply sometimes in Spanish, sometimes in English, but usually in a mix of the two.
I think that my family thought that I just didn’t want to speak Spanish—and that’s partly true. Or that I didn’t know how to express my feelings fully in Spanish—and that’s partly true, too. But it’s also true that I was producing language; I was expressing myself in a way that’s quite common for bilinguals, and that really isn’t so different from the ways monolinguals language. And today, I’m focusing on that perspective: the perspective that Spanglish is no different from other languages. But more importantly, I want to take you on my Spanglish-embracing journey by showing you three quotes that changed my perspective.
QUOTES:
1. “Every language was once Spanglish” -Carter & Andresen
“The term languaging is needed to refer to the simultaneous process of continuous becoming of ourselves and of our language practices, as we interact and make meaning in the world.” -García & Li Wei
“So, if you want to really hurt me, talk badly about my language. Ethnic identity is twin skin to linguistic identity--I am my language. Until I can take pride in my language, I cannot take pride in myself.” -Anzaldúa